Some Stress Manifests Itself in the Form of Openly Hostile Words
Seraph: Had to take Vega to the vet today. She's pretty sick, but she will be okay. She has Giardia, which does something to the digestive system or whatever. It is contagious to both dogs and humans so, I gotta keep an eye out for that.
Seraph: And she has some type of mange on her face. So she's getting that taken care of as well. Poor Babygirl. This also means that I might not be going back to PA in February. Vega might not be allowed to travel. :(
Ophan: Hope everything works out.
ArchAngel: Fuck military vets. Do you all realize how many trips we've (by "we," I really mean Seraph and Vega,) made to the post vet for her eye alone? With follow-ups? And they still can't tell what's wrong? One (admittedly but acceptably) pricey civilian vet visit, and I don't have to keep worrying about my Babygirl anymore. Thank God, I can actually get myself worked up to the point I'm in a cold sweat just thinking about the possibility she could die. And fuck you all, the ones that are thinking "she's just a dog, don't get so worked up!" or some condescending variation of that. My emotional investment in animals that are worthy of more respect than your average shit-bag selfish hypocrite of a human is what keeps me from setting your houses on fire.
Ophan: Dude. If you love her, of course you'll get worked up. I hope you aren't dropping me in that category just because of our discussion a couple weeks ago. When my last dog (not a family dog) died I was 14 and it broke my heart. I've cried over a few cats in the past couple years. Gressil cried when his snake died. Just because I'm not an anthropromorphist doesn't mean I'm heartless...
So did you take her to a military vet or a civilian? Just a thought, a second opinion might be good in any event. In my experience mange isn't horrible difficult to treat, and I've never heard of a disease passing from animal to human like that (except for rabies of course, and some weird disease rabbits get.) But I'm not a vet either.
ArchAngel: No, you're not one of the people I was referring to Ophan. There wasn't really a specific person or people I was referring to at all. You just happened to have commented before me. I was (in my aggressive-passive-aggressive way,)
1.)Indicating my disdain for people that are so cold they don't understand one can care about a pet so deeply (most people care only about themselves with any sincerity,)
2.) Daring someone to say something about it, and
3.) Blowing off emotional stress through verbal aggression while simultaneously opening up the potential to blow off more by shredding said prick if their neurons happened to fire in such a manner that they accomplished the comparatively impressive task of condensing grunts and mental flatulence into a coherent thought, and then somehow also managed to type it out and post it.
Still some residual stress-related aggression, I'd say. Whatever, I deal with nearly all negative internal influence by converting it into hostility and anger. And apparently, word-heavy run-on sentences.
And, just for yours and anyone else's edification, there are numerous canine maladies that can be passed to humans, including various parasites, though not as many of these as there are common canine-specific illnesses. Myself and my wife are now more well-versed in dog health problems than perhaps we should have to be, largely because, and let it be known that I say this as delicately as I can without inducing a stroke, THE MIDWEST IS A RAGING SHIT-HOLE OF A GEOGRAPHIC REGION AND WOULD SERVE AMERICA BETTER WERE IT SET AFLAME AND ALLOWED TO BURN TO NOTHINGNESS, THE ASHES COLLECTED AND THE CARBON USED TO CREATE INDUSTRIAL DIAMONDS TO COAT THE PLASTIC-CUTTING BLADES USED IN THE MALAYSIAN PLANT THAT MANUFACTURES MCDONALD'S HAPPY MEAL TOYS.
Seriously, never have I seen a location so devoid of any redeeming qualities. Maybe I'm biased, I do miss the Appalachians.
Look at that! Word-heavy, run-on CAPITALIZED sentence.
Ophan: Bwhahaha! You make me grin! Yeah, I have no desire to live in the Midwest at all. I have one friend who lives in Kansas, but it's in the southeast, about half hour from the Missouri border, and it seems to be pretty there. And of course you hit the Ozarks in Missouri I like the north east coast, and the northwest coast. Don't really care to live anywhere else in the US, but I'd like to see certain landmarks and whatnot (as long as I can pick the season we see said landmarks!)
Well, I hope you get an asshole to more fully direct the whole of your wrath on!
Cherub: Urielle's in Washington though
Ophan: Yup! Northwest! : )
ArchAngel: The Ozarks are mountains like Powdered Toast Man is a superhero. I spent more time in Missouri than any decent human should have to (that is to say, longer than the time it takes to urinate on a sign post,) and it is quite possibly a bigger shit-hole than Kansas. It's like Kansas, only the horseman of pestilence has taken up residence there. Do you know what a seed tick is?
And perhaps I'm mistaken, but when I think landmark, in my mind this object is required to, at least in part, protrude from the surface of the planet at least a small amount. In the Midwest, the trees grow flat. The whole place is a geometric anomaly. It exists entirely in two dimensions, that's why the wind is so bad. Did you know that two dimensional wind is more destructive than its counterpart by a factor of "this place sucks that bad"? The season doesn't matter in the slightest, there is never a period of the year when this place is worth visiting. Even the locals lack any kind of significant depth. Imagine the most stereotypical backwater functionally retarded redneck a Jeff Foxworthy joke has ever conjured an image of in your mind, then remove any and all potential for redeeming qualities, such as country-style charm or even value as comic relief, that's your average Midwesterner. This place has zero cultural definition. I'm not a big fan of the west coast, but even as douche bags, at least they're memorable.
Maybe I'm not being fair, and if I've offended anyone that happens to read this, I apologize. Of course, that offense implies a certain amount of emotional depth, which leads me to believe that you're not likely a Midwesterner yourself, but more likely know someone from the Midwest, or even more likely, are just an ass. And if my life has taught me anything, it's that I'm superior to those that disagree with me in any way, and given evidence this isn't true the best thing to do is to delude myself into at least believing it is. After all, it's my thought that counts, as they say. By "they," I mean "I."
So take that Kansas, if I can't find a person to degrade and belittle to make myself feel better, I'm gonna take it out on you.
ArchAngel: Post-script note: I dare anyone to try and challenge me with their feelings of moral superiority and disgust at my narcissistic statements. Try it.
This seems reminiscent of other conversations I used to have. They're more entertaining when they're two-sided.
Ophan - How's life as a figment treatin' ya?
Cherub - You're of a level intelligence that I (unreasonably and selfishly) expect a much better comment than the one you've offered. What did that bring to the thread? Nothing that entertained me, and after all, isn't that what matters? (Yes, yes it is.)
Ophan: Haha! You should move to Maryland if you can. It's so much cooler than Pennsylvania, and it has mountains, and if that section of the Appalachians isn't good enough for you, than at least you aren't far from the PA part. By west I mean Oregon or Washington, or even parts of Northern California. I don't like being hot. I'd rather not go any further south than I am, and I hate Delaware, New Jersey, and certain parts of PA. New England could work. New York, I love. I want big city and country broadness at my fingertips, and the ocean relatively nearby. I am not a camper (remember how miserable I used to be at the church retreats?) but I'm going to have to get over it real quick because the kiddos want to go camping. I watch too many attack stories on animal planet and discovery not to be paranoid!
ArchAngel, life as a figment is just about as shitty as it could possibly be at the moment (barring death). Pretty misanthropic at the moment. Fatalistic. Deterministic materialism. To sum it all up, I hate. Yeah.
How are you?
Ophan: **"Cooler" does not refer to temperature; "hot" does.** : )
ArchAngel: At the moment, wound up enough that, were I not the amazingly mature, wonderful, awesome, sensitive pseudo-self absorbed person that I am, I'd attack your comment just for the shear entertainment value.
Yes, more than anyone else, I amuse myself to a degree that even in my mind the concept has reached mythical proportions.
I could say I won't do that because it would be mean, or because it's not fair to delight in needlessly attacking perfectly reasonable opinions even though I might even agree with them because it'll make me chuckle, or because occasionally I'm lucid enough to understand and adhere to some kind of ethical standard of which my pleasure is not the central focus.
I could say one of those things. Maybe you could even get me to admit that I believed it. But instead of cheaply justifying this decision on the basis of such concepts as "honesty," "integrity," or some sort of ambiguous sense of social responsibility, I'm goin' with this--my shift's about over, and I have to clean the office before the brass comes in in the morning.
Give thanks, you are spared.
ArchAngel: Post-post-script: someday, I'll meet Jesus, and I'm gonna feel like such shit.
Ophan: Thanks. And you actually cheered me up a bit without even meaning too (you can tear my comments down for amusement some other time, it keeps me thinking about other things.)
Seraph, sorry for taking over your comment section on other subjects than intended! Hope Vega's okay soon.
Ophan: "Vern didn't believe in the Rapture, and he was neutral on the existence of God. But one thing he knew for sure: If God existed, meeting Him after death would be so terrifying that you'd probably die a second time from sheer fright. Vern figured that IF God existed, a God of pure love, then for sure there had to be a Purgatory, because you would need a place of purification before you dared go upstairs for the Ultimate Hug. Even a sweet old woman like Mrs. Bonneventure, rapturing directly from this life to God's presence, would detonate as violently as antimatter meeting matter, like that old episode of Star Trek."
~Dean Koontz, "The Darkest Evening of the Year"~
ArchAngel: Two things:
1.)You can't just redirect a thread like that, there is an etiquette to these things. You start a new one by doing something like posting on my wall "ArchAngel, in response to your earlier statement, I thought this quote was apt: [insert long-winded quote from Dean Koontz book here]."
2.)You don't have to apologize to Seraph, she's my property, I own her. That's like apologizing to my toaster because you used it to toast a bagel instead of bread. As a matter of fact, henceforth, all comments directed towards my wife, or any of my other cooking and cleaning appliances are to be routed through me first.
One of these days, I'm going to collect all of this type stuff and find the shortest possible off-hand statement I have made that has offended the greatest possible number of individuals and groups of people. This will then promptly be taken to an attorney and included in my will as the required epitaph to be etched on my tombstone before my estate (likely consisting primarily of empty beer bottles and half-finished works of "art,") is allowed to be divided up among the three people that have survived my shenanigans and still don't hate me at the time of my demise (which, by the way will be the result of my ill-advised attempt to conquer my own European nation wielding a spear and riding into battle on a velociraptor I successfully grew in a tube after an online college course in theoretical biochemistry and genetic engineering. I wasn't killed in the battle, I was eaten be the raptor. How could I have thought that was a good idea?)
Ophan: I didn't redirect, it was in response to your p.p.s.
Haha, she may be yours but you certainly don't own her!
Yes, definitely save all of this. And anything even older you can think of. It's great fun to read back on stuff. Oh, and if I manage to be one of the people still in contact with you and not hating you at the time of your sadly early and untimely demise, can I have first dibs on the early stuff? Say... up to 2003?
ArchAngel: She is my property, as dictated by her own mother's rules. She's the one that said since she paid for the marriage license when her and my father-in-law got married, she owned him. As far as I can remember, I never heard him contest this. Using traditional ArchAngel-brand logic (At my most cognisant moments this could loosely be described as abstract. Very loosely. Whatever, it makes sense to me,) this statement has become indelibly asserted marriage law. Eat it.
I might've accepted your earlier quote as within the bounds of "threadiquette," (I'm so clever. if you've heard this term before now, that's because sometimes for fun on the weekends I'm a time-traveling, word-weaving trend setter,) except for the fact that you made no indication as to it being a response to my (thoroughly original) statement. I'll give you a moment to let the immense metaphysical ramifications of this sink in.
As to whether or not you can have my early works when I die, no. Why, you ask? (I heard you.) Because I'm a dick. Also because while it would be funny and and inoffensive if I were to try to call "dibs" on someone's worldly possessions before they were dead, when you do it it's obviously in poor taste. You're a horrible person for even considering it.
And who said anything about it being an early demise? I was 86 when this will happen! (The awkward mish-mash of past and future tense was intentional.)
That's right folks, I've reached the point where the smoothest talking, quickest thinking hostage negotiator would have a bitch of a time formulating a statement I couldn't be difficult about. This is one of my favorite moods.
Seraph: And she has some type of mange on her face. So she's getting that taken care of as well. Poor Babygirl. This also means that I might not be going back to PA in February. Vega might not be allowed to travel. :(
Ophan: Hope everything works out.
ArchAngel: Fuck military vets. Do you all realize how many trips we've (by "we," I really mean Seraph and Vega,) made to the post vet for her eye alone? With follow-ups? And they still can't tell what's wrong? One (admittedly but acceptably) pricey civilian vet visit, and I don't have to keep worrying about my Babygirl anymore. Thank God, I can actually get myself worked up to the point I'm in a cold sweat just thinking about the possibility she could die. And fuck you all, the ones that are thinking "she's just a dog, don't get so worked up!" or some condescending variation of that. My emotional investment in animals that are worthy of more respect than your average shit-bag selfish hypocrite of a human is what keeps me from setting your houses on fire.
Ophan: Dude. If you love her, of course you'll get worked up. I hope you aren't dropping me in that category just because of our discussion a couple weeks ago. When my last dog (not a family dog) died I was 14 and it broke my heart. I've cried over a few cats in the past couple years. Gressil cried when his snake died. Just because I'm not an anthropromorphist doesn't mean I'm heartless...
So did you take her to a military vet or a civilian? Just a thought, a second opinion might be good in any event. In my experience mange isn't horrible difficult to treat, and I've never heard of a disease passing from animal to human like that (except for rabies of course, and some weird disease rabbits get.) But I'm not a vet either.
ArchAngel: No, you're not one of the people I was referring to Ophan. There wasn't really a specific person or people I was referring to at all. You just happened to have commented before me. I was (in my aggressive-passive-aggressive way,)
1.)Indicating my disdain for people that are so cold they don't understand one can care about a pet so deeply (most people care only about themselves with any sincerity,)
2.) Daring someone to say something about it, and
3.) Blowing off emotional stress through verbal aggression while simultaneously opening up the potential to blow off more by shredding said prick if their neurons happened to fire in such a manner that they accomplished the comparatively impressive task of condensing grunts and mental flatulence into a coherent thought, and then somehow also managed to type it out and post it.
Still some residual stress-related aggression, I'd say. Whatever, I deal with nearly all negative internal influence by converting it into hostility and anger. And apparently, word-heavy run-on sentences.
And, just for yours and anyone else's edification, there are numerous canine maladies that can be passed to humans, including various parasites, though not as many of these as there are common canine-specific illnesses. Myself and my wife are now more well-versed in dog health problems than perhaps we should have to be, largely because, and let it be known that I say this as delicately as I can without inducing a stroke, THE MIDWEST IS A RAGING SHIT-HOLE OF A GEOGRAPHIC REGION AND WOULD SERVE AMERICA BETTER WERE IT SET AFLAME AND ALLOWED TO BURN TO NOTHINGNESS, THE ASHES COLLECTED AND THE CARBON USED TO CREATE INDUSTRIAL DIAMONDS TO COAT THE PLASTIC-CUTTING BLADES USED IN THE MALAYSIAN PLANT THAT MANUFACTURES MCDONALD'S HAPPY MEAL TOYS.
Seriously, never have I seen a location so devoid of any redeeming qualities. Maybe I'm biased, I do miss the Appalachians.
Look at that! Word-heavy, run-on CAPITALIZED sentence.
Ophan: Bwhahaha! You make me grin! Yeah, I have no desire to live in the Midwest at all. I have one friend who lives in Kansas, but it's in the southeast, about half hour from the Missouri border, and it seems to be pretty there. And of course you hit the Ozarks in Missouri I like the north east coast, and the northwest coast. Don't really care to live anywhere else in the US, but I'd like to see certain landmarks and whatnot (as long as I can pick the season we see said landmarks!)
Well, I hope you get an asshole to more fully direct the whole of your wrath on!
Cherub: Urielle's in Washington though
Ophan: Yup! Northwest! : )
ArchAngel: The Ozarks are mountains like Powdered Toast Man is a superhero. I spent more time in Missouri than any decent human should have to (that is to say, longer than the time it takes to urinate on a sign post,) and it is quite possibly a bigger shit-hole than Kansas. It's like Kansas, only the horseman of pestilence has taken up residence there. Do you know what a seed tick is?
And perhaps I'm mistaken, but when I think landmark, in my mind this object is required to, at least in part, protrude from the surface of the planet at least a small amount. In the Midwest, the trees grow flat. The whole place is a geometric anomaly. It exists entirely in two dimensions, that's why the wind is so bad. Did you know that two dimensional wind is more destructive than its counterpart by a factor of "this place sucks that bad"? The season doesn't matter in the slightest, there is never a period of the year when this place is worth visiting. Even the locals lack any kind of significant depth. Imagine the most stereotypical backwater functionally retarded redneck a Jeff Foxworthy joke has ever conjured an image of in your mind, then remove any and all potential for redeeming qualities, such as country-style charm or even value as comic relief, that's your average Midwesterner. This place has zero cultural definition. I'm not a big fan of the west coast, but even as douche bags, at least they're memorable.
Maybe I'm not being fair, and if I've offended anyone that happens to read this, I apologize. Of course, that offense implies a certain amount of emotional depth, which leads me to believe that you're not likely a Midwesterner yourself, but more likely know someone from the Midwest, or even more likely, are just an ass. And if my life has taught me anything, it's that I'm superior to those that disagree with me in any way, and given evidence this isn't true the best thing to do is to delude myself into at least believing it is. After all, it's my thought that counts, as they say. By "they," I mean "I."
So take that Kansas, if I can't find a person to degrade and belittle to make myself feel better, I'm gonna take it out on you.
ArchAngel: Post-script note: I dare anyone to try and challenge me with their feelings of moral superiority and disgust at my narcissistic statements. Try it.
This seems reminiscent of other conversations I used to have. They're more entertaining when they're two-sided.
Ophan - How's life as a figment treatin' ya?
Cherub - You're of a level intelligence that I (unreasonably and selfishly) expect a much better comment than the one you've offered. What did that bring to the thread? Nothing that entertained me, and after all, isn't that what matters? (Yes, yes it is.)
Ophan: Haha! You should move to Maryland if you can. It's so much cooler than Pennsylvania, and it has mountains, and if that section of the Appalachians isn't good enough for you, than at least you aren't far from the PA part. By west I mean Oregon or Washington, or even parts of Northern California. I don't like being hot. I'd rather not go any further south than I am, and I hate Delaware, New Jersey, and certain parts of PA. New England could work. New York, I love. I want big city and country broadness at my fingertips, and the ocean relatively nearby. I am not a camper (remember how miserable I used to be at the church retreats?) but I'm going to have to get over it real quick because the kiddos want to go camping. I watch too many attack stories on animal planet and discovery not to be paranoid!
ArchAngel, life as a figment is just about as shitty as it could possibly be at the moment (barring death). Pretty misanthropic at the moment. Fatalistic. Deterministic materialism. To sum it all up, I hate. Yeah.
How are you?
Ophan: **"Cooler" does not refer to temperature; "hot" does.** : )
ArchAngel: At the moment, wound up enough that, were I not the amazingly mature, wonderful, awesome, sensitive pseudo-self absorbed person that I am, I'd attack your comment just for the shear entertainment value.
Yes, more than anyone else, I amuse myself to a degree that even in my mind the concept has reached mythical proportions.
I could say I won't do that because it would be mean, or because it's not fair to delight in needlessly attacking perfectly reasonable opinions even though I might even agree with them because it'll make me chuckle, or because occasionally I'm lucid enough to understand and adhere to some kind of ethical standard of which my pleasure is not the central focus.
I could say one of those things. Maybe you could even get me to admit that I believed it. But instead of cheaply justifying this decision on the basis of such concepts as "honesty," "integrity," or some sort of ambiguous sense of social responsibility, I'm goin' with this--my shift's about over, and I have to clean the office before the brass comes in in the morning.
Give thanks, you are spared.
ArchAngel: Post-post-script: someday, I'll meet Jesus, and I'm gonna feel like such shit.
Ophan: Thanks. And you actually cheered me up a bit without even meaning too (you can tear my comments down for amusement some other time, it keeps me thinking about other things.)
Seraph, sorry for taking over your comment section on other subjects than intended! Hope Vega's okay soon.
Ophan: "Vern didn't believe in the Rapture, and he was neutral on the existence of God. But one thing he knew for sure: If God existed, meeting Him after death would be so terrifying that you'd probably die a second time from sheer fright. Vern figured that IF God existed, a God of pure love, then for sure there had to be a Purgatory, because you would need a place of purification before you dared go upstairs for the Ultimate Hug. Even a sweet old woman like Mrs. Bonneventure, rapturing directly from this life to God's presence, would detonate as violently as antimatter meeting matter, like that old episode of Star Trek."
~Dean Koontz, "The Darkest Evening of the Year"~
ArchAngel: Two things:
1.)You can't just redirect a thread like that, there is an etiquette to these things. You start a new one by doing something like posting on my wall "ArchAngel, in response to your earlier statement, I thought this quote was apt: [insert long-winded quote from Dean Koontz book here]."
2.)You don't have to apologize to Seraph, she's my property, I own her. That's like apologizing to my toaster because you used it to toast a bagel instead of bread. As a matter of fact, henceforth, all comments directed towards my wife, or any of my other cooking and cleaning appliances are to be routed through me first.
One of these days, I'm going to collect all of this type stuff and find the shortest possible off-hand statement I have made that has offended the greatest possible number of individuals and groups of people. This will then promptly be taken to an attorney and included in my will as the required epitaph to be etched on my tombstone before my estate (likely consisting primarily of empty beer bottles and half-finished works of "art,") is allowed to be divided up among the three people that have survived my shenanigans and still don't hate me at the time of my demise (which, by the way will be the result of my ill-advised attempt to conquer my own European nation wielding a spear and riding into battle on a velociraptor I successfully grew in a tube after an online college course in theoretical biochemistry and genetic engineering. I wasn't killed in the battle, I was eaten be the raptor. How could I have thought that was a good idea?)
Ophan: I didn't redirect, it was in response to your p.p.s.
Haha, she may be yours but you certainly don't own her!
Yes, definitely save all of this. And anything even older you can think of. It's great fun to read back on stuff. Oh, and if I manage to be one of the people still in contact with you and not hating you at the time of your sadly early and untimely demise, can I have first dibs on the early stuff? Say... up to 2003?
ArchAngel: She is my property, as dictated by her own mother's rules. She's the one that said since she paid for the marriage license when her and my father-in-law got married, she owned him. As far as I can remember, I never heard him contest this. Using traditional ArchAngel-brand logic (At my most cognisant moments this could loosely be described as abstract. Very loosely. Whatever, it makes sense to me,) this statement has become indelibly asserted marriage law. Eat it.
I might've accepted your earlier quote as within the bounds of "threadiquette," (I'm so clever. if you've heard this term before now, that's because sometimes for fun on the weekends I'm a time-traveling, word-weaving trend setter,) except for the fact that you made no indication as to it being a response to my (thoroughly original) statement. I'll give you a moment to let the immense metaphysical ramifications of this sink in.
As to whether or not you can have my early works when I die, no. Why, you ask? (I heard you.) Because I'm a dick. Also because while it would be funny and and inoffensive if I were to try to call "dibs" on someone's worldly possessions before they were dead, when you do it it's obviously in poor taste. You're a horrible person for even considering it.
And who said anything about it being an early demise? I was 86 when this will happen! (The awkward mish-mash of past and future tense was intentional.)
That's right folks, I've reached the point where the smoothest talking, quickest thinking hostage negotiator would have a bitch of a time formulating a statement I couldn't be difficult about. This is one of my favorite moods.